Longstanding Effects of Bereavement and Shock
Neasa is a professional singer who, through her search to end crippling performance anxiety, became an Advanced EFT therapist in Cork, B.A. Psych. Combining Eastern energy healing with Western psychology, she works with a variety of physical & emotional issues, specialising in Performance anxiety, Stage fright, Dread, Exam nerves and Chronic Fatigue. If only she’d known back then what she knows now!
As a singer, anxiety sabotaged Neasa’s dreams and kept her living small in career. From sceptical beginnings, she’s been converted by the miracles she’s seen unfold with Emotional Freedom Techniques and loves guiding others towards their Greatest Potential. She works passionately with performers, eager that YOU realise your dreams. Neasa offers private therapy sessions on Douglas Road, Cork city or Online healing via Skype.
Oprah Winfrey and President Obama are advocates of EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES TAPPING THERAPY, using it daily for PERFORMANCE ENHANCEMENT in their very productive lives. They take responsibility for what they deliver to this world. Éimer Godsil is no exception to this team! Not keen to settle for mediocre, she has proven her courage in changing her relationship with her world and now eagerly wants to spread the word so that YOU may live more joyfully, more fully, through healing your life also. Neasa is delighted to host Éimer’s healing journey, as follows, on this blog.
After Session 9 on 31 March 2017
A part of me is resisting the concept of the purpose of Gearóids death – the other lifetimes, all of us in each lifetime having trials so that we can attain the state of ultimate/divine love. Why should I care about that? I don’t know of any other lifetimes, only this one I am living in right now and I want him to be here in it with me. What is the purpose of his death? What is the purpose? Another part of me can accept this, more than 20 years hence, mind you, and that is fine, the rest of my life starts now and I can’t change the past.
I want to believe this, but not just for the sake of believing in something nor just to help in my acceptance of his not being here with me but actually truly understanding that it had to happen and thus, yielded this outcome – this outcome that I don’t know yet. I had thought I had reached a good level of acceptance on this but from the session last week I now think maybe not, maybe reconciled that it has happened, rather than acceptance and that I can’t change that fact. Also, I am afraid to let go of the grief, afraid I will be ‘glad’ it happened for this, as yet unknown to me, greater purpose – you mentioned this Neasa. Though I am not afraid that he would be hurt that I would forget him or not want him to be here, we were close (as adults anyway – fought like cat and dog as children………at times J), he would know he will never be forgotten and he would want what is best for me, he wouldn’t want me to be upset over him, certainly not 20+ years later.
My amazing incidences that occurred around Gearóid after my session on my grief –
- Gearóid and 7/7/1977
- cousins car reg 1777
- the Porsche reg 7777
- Just to explain all the ‘7s’ above a little J –
On 7th July 1977 we were staying with our cousins and Gearóid told them that that day was the 7th of the 7th ’77, they always remembered it, (which I didn’t!). I visited my cousins the day after this appointment (Session 9) with Neasa (no coincidence there!) and my cousins reminded me of when Gearóid had told them of the 7th of the 7th ’77, all those years ago. Also, one of my cousins had wanted to change her car and got a very good deal on a car she would love to have and the reg is 1777. Lastly, the following Friday, back in Cork I was waiting at traffic lights and I noticed a very sleek fancy black sports car, a Porsche no less, then I looked at the reg, 05 MH 7777! I couldn’t believe it, and all this happened between my two sessions which dealt with my grief around my brother. I believe he was telling me ‘you are on the right path, keep going’.
“You are on the right path, keep going”
After Session 10 on 11 April 2017
I was very nervous coming to this session! I didn’t know why, just that I was. That happened me once or twice before and they turned out to be ‘big’ sessions for me, as this one was. The previous week’s session (9) just delved a little into Gearóids death et al. and didn’t have a huge impact, I think it was just paving the way for the heavy stuff that we tapped on this session. A lot of grief around closing the coffin. I have always said since, when at other funerals that that is the hardest part, but when thinking of it, that part wouldn’t have caused me particular upset – Supressing my emotions maybe. Writing this bit on the 13th April and still don’t feel ready to do the tappings I have recorded from the session! A little afraid of what they will throw up for me. The enforced 2 week plus break with your absence Neasa is meant to be for me.
Did the first tapping from the session (eventually) and more shouts stuck in me were released, most didn’t sound like me, I thought. And listening back to the other recordings, I think there is still quite a bit of sadness and grief there, which is conflicting in me a bit, as I don’t think there should be after nearly 22 years! But if you ask me what did I do to deal with Gearóids death? I would say talked to friends a bit, accepted their sympathies and that was it. Not really sufficient given how difficult it was for me and what a shock it was. So there is bound to be grief supressed there and I have had a feeling of being stuck. But had accepted that this was as good as the grief was going to get and I could cope with it without too much bother.
There is quite a bit of collateral damage/after effects from the shock of the news and the effect on me and my life due to Gearóid not being here. I have made a list of these below.
- Last time I saw Gearóid……
- Realise that the very moment of closing the coffin was the end of having him and the beginning of the rest of my life (probably a long one) without him.
- Would have stayed in the funeral home on our/my own with him for hours touching/holding his face and hands, but we couldn’t, people were waiting outside, we were long enough as it was.
- I imagine my children’s faces in a coffin. Imagine their funerals.
- Shock of initial phone call from Micheál with the news. Have been a few bad news phone calls, thus now I get panicky when Micheál or my children ring me, sometimes it is worse than others. Plus, at that time I was the happiest I had ever been and the phone call shattered that with shocking suddenness, I got a huge fall from the height of my happiness at the time.
- I never worried about Gearóid and look what happened!! Therefore, I think if I don’t worry about my children something bad will happen to them. Worrying about them is affording them a protection in my mind.
- Don’t think I grieved properly; crying and time were all I did. Talked a bit about it, but that can only help so much. Not wanting to upset the house, as much because I couldn’t handle that as anything else.
The Journey home passes through a cascade of emotions. Only then can we see through the fog
After Session 11 on 05 May 2017
Again, I am a bit reluctant to start doing the tappings from the session, but I can give myself time. Over the past few weeks I have done some tapping of my own and have found it helpful, in not too deep situations.
I can’t believe how good I feel! I can’t. Did the tappings on Gearóid from the last session just once and that one time plus the session has given me huge release. I am very nearly there with that and I haven’t done the ‘sit and connect with him’ that you suggested as yet.
Ask him to help you make sense of this so you can find peace with his going. Ask him to show you the purpose to it, why it had to happen, what it is trying to teach you. Sometimes we are here to learn about loss or grief. X Neasa
When I think of Gearóid now, I think of him in the same way as I think of Conor, for instance, when he is away. There is a peacefulness and pleasantness about it. Before there was this angst between us, me cross and resentful with him for leaving me and so suddenly and I pictured him as being a little anxious, I think, at my unhappiness and lack of acceptance. Now his countenance is much more relaxed and gentle.
Other than that, I can’t believe how good my life is, how happy I am, my head has become so much clearer, I usually do and say the right things instinctively, the difference is incredible, the old me becoming a distance memory. I look forward to everyday; to every part of everyday. This is hard to explain, but if I was out, daytime, night time, with the kids without them (when they were smaller) it didn’t matter, I had this subtle anxiousness to be home, like I was afraid something would happen out of the blue and I then couldn’t control it. But at least if I was at home I had some platform or place of comfort from where I could deal with it. I wasn’t even aware if it until recently when I see the difference.
There is always light at the end of every dark tunnel
Also, I was reticent about going out, more so in the evening, to a concert, cinema, event, whatever. I would say ‘yes’ to going to something but I would be hoping, more often than not, that we wouldn’t be able to go or that my husband would decide he didn’t want to go. That of course would rarely happen, he always wants to be doing something, always has something planned. I, on the other hand was quite happy to just be at home. It was like my head couldn’t cope with too much different going on. Now !!;J I want to be out all the time, doing something all the time, enthusiastically saying’ yes’ to whatever is suggested. Not only that, but coming up with ideas myself of things to do and go to! I would rarely suggest something in the past – I know now that’s because if anybody showed the slightest negative reaction, sure I would take that as rejection, wouldn’t I! But not anymore.
Also, I haven’t listened to talk radio in months, I just want music music music!
Part 4 coming soon. To be informed of follow-up, click ‘FOLLOW’ button at: https://neasadebaroid.wordpress.com/
Healing is far more common than staying stuck. My Guarantee to you, the client: Your issues will be dealt with in a safe and respectful environment. If you feel ready to heal your life, please feel free to contact me to discuss how I can help you move forward. Call Neasa +353(0)87 2535287 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Neasa De Baroid is a singer, performer and an EFT Practitioner in Cork City